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no one remembers me.....
		12:59am 12/08/2007
	i havent even thought about this fucking thing in ages.... my life has come full circle with someone i gave up when i was a jerk. funny how time works. life is ever spiraling into a fucking void so im reaching for the walls to catch ahold of something. to make my life meaningful. [this line edited out] his name will be fuck you. regardless...horror movies and record collecting still rule... [this line edited out] or water... i love my girlfriend.
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		11:20pm 25/09/2006
	im part of a new band... we are called ALTERED BEAST we recorded a 12 song demo that will be out shortly for a dose of power violence/fastcore brewtality..please check this shit: www.myspace.com/alteredbeastwillkillyou word.
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		02:47am 14/07/2006
	i gave up life to tour. my life is 1980's horror movies. see you soon.
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		12:01am 10/06/2006
	im still alive. despite what livejournal says. 2 1/2 weeks until i leave for tour for 6 months. current playlist: -TERRORIZER -BLOOD FREAK -PROMISE RING -MARIO BROTHERS 3 -SUPER MARIO WORLD -FUNERAL SHOCK -XBRAINIAX -AUTOPSY -VENOM -IVE BEEN SHOT (fuck yes.) i was able to play KUNGFU RICKs reunion show. that was rad. beer still is in me. right now actually. anyone who still remembers me should say. hello.
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20 of those things
		03:37am 21/05/2006
	drunk again. tonight its Night Of The Living Dead with kays on taylor/loomis. depressed about certain things. i feel ashamed to like GUTTERAL SECRETE i leave in less than 2 weeks. fuck the system.
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		02:45pm 09/01/2006
	i dont think im happy about that much right now... the TOR recording came and went. its finished. it was a fun 3 days, but in hindsight we shouldve been more prepared for what it was. first of all, my nerves were shot. i went into the place with the wrong attitude and i was a bit shaken. my playing isnt the best its been. and on tape thats never cool. it was intimidating. alot different from BLAM for sure and i dont think we were ready for that. i think we do much better in smaller places. we owe $500+ dollars on the recording too. and thats even after the portion that HWCinc picked up on the bill. i think its a bit unfair because there were definitly times that we did nothing in the studio except talk, and im really hoping we didnt get charged for it. part of me thinks we overpaid but then again, that could just be my general fucked up attitude about it. i have yet to hear it mastered but i keep telling myself that we couldve done so much more of a better job on all of this. i feel like if it doesnt turn out well we would have let alot of people down. and thats not a good feeling. its like a real fear of mine now. like i feel that if we get the master back and its not to my liking, i dont want to fucking release it. id rather re-record it. shit, the band JUDGE did that shit with their first full length. and furthermore, grindcore bands are supposed to sound gritty and rough. never fucking polished. fuck. i swear, if i didnt have something on my mind always, i wouldnt know what the fuck to do. im worried about ANYTHING constantly. no wonder my fucking hair is falling out and i get no sleep. i cant relax. its always something. relationship woes. friendship woes. money issues. the fear that TOR will let HWCinc down. my future for me....oh my god, dont even get me started on that. i need a fucking vacation from my brain for a year. tomorrow i will be 24 years old. its true that after the age of 21 you stop caring about this shit. it just makes you feel worse about yourself when you stop and realize that you still live at home with your parents. luckily im waiting on the month of June. finally get out of this place again for a good while. oh, how i love touring. oh. ive gone back to be a strict vegetarian. im 8 days strong on it. i was veg for over 6 years and i never felt better. last year a new mindset (which was: being vegetarian is for tree hugging fucks) told me to give it up. after a full year of not watching what i ate and just living pretty grossly i managed to gain a whole 50 pounds. what a loser i am. i bought REVENGE OF THE NERDS/REVENGE OF THE NERDS 2: NERDS IN PARADISE DVD yesterday. its quite possibly the best purchase ive made in quite some time. they just dont make them like they used to. may i suggest everyone see the movie HOSTEL. it was truely a gore delight. i had heard rumors that people had passed out during certain scenes at the advance screenings of the film. i figured it was all a bunch of bullshit. i felt that way until i was sitting in the theater, and i hear a rustling around a few seats away. it turns out to be 2 people carrying their friend out by her arms. she was shaking like crazy and crying hysterically. when the light from the screen hit her i could make out that she had just vomitted all over herself. i could simply not believe it. i know it sounds like im being a huge pussy. and i am. i wont deny it. i wish i could live my life differently. not in the sense of not giving a fuck about shit, because that lifestyle is just as bad as giving a fuck about everything. i just wish there was a happy medium for me. confronted with an issue and being able to handle it without it turning into a life crisis. is it possible...
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		09:33pm 02/01/2006
	so. TOR declares our first world war tomorrow. we record. with jeremy lemos, whos recorded Kungfu Rick, HWC, etc..as well as shit like WILCO, which is crazy. i have to say im a bit antsy. not freaked out. but going into a new studio is going to be odd. whats pretty rad about the whole thing is that ill be up in the UIC area for the next 2 or 3 nights. maybe ill see some friends. or maybe not..... regardless, at least i wont be working... last night TOR played a kick ass basement show in ELGIN, IL. it was with some pretty rad bands. especially NO FUNERAL...holy crap they are such a good band. insturmental drone/noisiness...i guess along the lines of EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY with crazy old school SONIC YOUTH noise guitar. unfortunatly we missed the first band and 1.2 of the second. i feel like a jerk. NEW YEARS! was decent. got a little bit too drunk by 1am and me and josh kind of wrecked the place we were at. josh chucked bottles off into the distance off the balcony and actually kicked a chair over the railing. i put on a pair of brassknuckles and punched a table and it flew like 5 feet across the balcony almost over. we were kind of asked to leave by then. smashed a few bottles in joshs house which was both stupid and fun. my new years resolutions are going strong. back to being vegetarian again. which feels good. and im trying to limit my drinking. which is going DECENT.i mean, we havent got wrecked in like 2 days now. MY BIRTHDAY is coming up. ill be in the city to hang the saturday before (JAN 7th) and then the day of (JAN 10) ill be around the area. time to get stupid. anyone is invited. im actually getting a cellphone i think im going bald which is sort of a drag. no time to worry. by this time tomorrow. the worst will be over.
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		02:22pm 28/12/2005
	get back to work. ive had the past few days since xmas eve off of work. its been a blast..let me just tell you. my holiday went better than expected. with the standard disfunctional-isms of family aside, i actually didnt leave any family gathering this year with the urge to either A- get insanly drunk B- put a bullet through my brain so i guess that means it went pretty well. everyone got along. which is....weird. i ended up scoring some rad shit too. -SIN CITY-2xDVD boxset (i just sold my old copy yesterday) -CLERKS- 3xDVD box -DOGMA- 2xDVD special edition -AIRPLANE- DVD -LISCENCE TO DRIVE- DVD (THE COREYS!!) -HE MAN and the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE- 6xDVD box set and a fucking rad NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET poster. all that stuff was from kaysie. it was sort of a xmas+birthday extravaganza. from the family i got mainly cash. but some pretty awesome lined hoodies. in cash, added up, i got just over $600. i was pretty happy about that. it starts my fund for 12" iBook and a 30gb iPod. i got a hook up with apple now, so im looking at like 25% off of that order. plus, i can get an engraving on the back of the iPod. i just dont know what it will say.... on xmas eve, the us postal service gave me a rad present too in the shape of my record order from ebullition. its been awhile since ive ordered shit and EVERYTHING has been super rad. here is the run down... -ROSENBOMBS-7"-(blastingly fast hardcore rage. cap.casualties style. rad) -NO DICE- 7"(1 sided fastcore mania. insane how good it is) -INSECT WARFARE- 7" (insane grindcore blast fest on 625) -GEORGE HARRISON/CONGA FURY- 7" (1 side ultra noisey, 1 side ultra thrash) -APATHETIC YOUTH/FINAL DRAFT- 7" (total Despise You worship. so good.) -RHINO CHARGE- 7" (i went on a limb and it paid off. power violence mania!) -TOXIC HOLOCAUST-"hell on earth"-CD (1 man toxic thrash metal) -APARTMENT 213- discography- CD (classic power violence murderfest) now all i need is that fucking XBRANIAX 7" and the KNUCKLESCRAPER 7" to come out finally and i can rest for a bit. whew. so TOR records in less than 1 week. im excited and freaked out at the same time. going into a new studio is kind of scary. especially now that we are working with a dude who has worked with some big time bands. we practice tonight and finalize the last song. then thats all it from there. we still have to work with someone for art. we still need a bass player. we are all fucked up. oh. we play a basement show on new years day in Elgin, IL. its going to be great! i miss basement shows. time for work.
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		12:42pm 19/12/2005
	wow. i feel like someone hit me with a car. we had a pretty fucking great show last night in Mokena, IL of all places. tons of kids. insane pit. alot of good people. it was great with the exception of the rip off promoter who gave all 4 bands $30 to split between eachother. dude, what the fuck. there was a door head count of over 200 people. and each person had to play $6. thats alot of fucking money. plus, he made people, including band members!!! pay for water. WATER!?! what a total douche bag. we ended up just stealing the fucking water. and then making sure the venue was pretty tore up when we were done. good show. speaking of which, TOR just got named dropped for the 2nd time in AP magazine. haha, i think its pretty funny. i mean we havent been reviewed or even had an article in that shit, but they use us in the comparisons. first for STAND BEFORE THE FIRING SQUAD and now in the review for the new ED GEIN record. funny funny my weekend was pretty rad. Friday i went to The Mutiny to see (LONE) WOLF AND CUB, and they tore that shit up. im so excited for their new e.p...however, fuck the bar. the owner is a jerk, and i almost got into it with 2 fucking people like right as i got there. some biker who thought i was cutting him in line for the bathroom. and the owner who thought i was trying to use the womens bathroom. they all grabbed me and shit. jerks. whatever happened to a nice conversation. Saturday i just hung out in the city. later that night i met up with a bunch of old friends that i havent seen in quite a bit. we all had a christmas dinner together. and while the food was amazing, my Spinach Artichoke dip owned that motherfucker. as well as this mixed drink called SLUTTY REDHEAD (if you know me, you should know that i would like this drink just because of its name). its like peach shnapps, jager, and pomegranite juice i think. it was weird, smelled like gummy worms, but damn if it wasnt tasty. im eagerly awaiting my record order from Ebullition. i cant believe TOR records in 2 weeks. im getting antsy. i dont want to go to work today. but fuck it, im going to go make breakfast for my girlfriend. west coast tourmates = DANCE CLUB MASSACRE new bass player = still non-existant. eff.
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		11:33am 16/12/2005
	i had pretty much forgotten what its like to be kicked dead in the face. unfortunatly i was reminded during some drunken debauchery at the Parrish homestead. i was bleeding like mad. it was really kind of funny. words cannot describe how happy i am that this is my last day of work for the week. i have the whole weekend free...and thats rare. tonight me and josh are going to The Mutiny to see THE BLACK LODGE (Wolf And Cub) for free, and drink some brews with some cool kids. im probably going to find myself at the Taylor/Loomis apartment for the rest of the weekend too. kind of like last weekend, but without all of the confusion. and hopefully without the Bears getting their dicks kicked in on live television. TOR is playing in Mokena, IL this sunday. we still have yet to find a permanant bass player. josh and me have these 3 secret projects that are all going to be recording after the new year (finally!). i have to say im quite excited.... -GAEAR GRIMSRUD--traditional power violence mania. we are going to record about 18 or so songs (one being a cover of INFESTs "why dont you (fuck off)" for a self released 1 sided 7" record. im so excited. and i just cant hide it. -BUILDINGS--a bit on the arty side of things. we have played some songs like this before. along the lines of the whole crazy as fuck Orchid/Jeromes Dream type thing. this is for a cd release. -SHITCUM--ah yes. the joke becomes a reality. gross-out-sick-shit-noisegrind about fucked up shit. all in good humor. trust me. all in good humor. i cut that gross mop of shit hair off of my head finally. and words cant describe how excited i am to get the 7" by the band XBRAINIAX. i cant get the theme song from Frasier out of my head. i just cant.
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		12:29pm 11/12/2005
	oh wow. my head doesnt even feel like its attached to my body right now. i had the longest day ever yesterday. and i think im going to never leave my house for at least a week. i was to the city and back 2 times in less than 3 hours. then from there to the south suburbs all the way to lemont back to the south suburbs. yikes. i got really drunk and now im paying for it. i have work in about a half of an hour. nick and kaysie are passed out in my room still. i think i woke my family up at 4am for being too loud and they got pretty pissed. fuck. now i have to deal with that for the rest of the week. i cant wait until june. when i kick myself out of my house. practice tonight. possible show in the works with DAS OATH and SOME GIRLS. i need to stop drinking for 8 years. i need a vacation, this 40 hours a week shit is for the birds. i had 5 weird ass dreams in a row. and they were epic. i got my copy of ALONE IN THE DARK in the mail. im going to watch that. and then consider checking myself into a mental institution. p.s. its not the ALONE IN THE DARK with tara reid and that ass-grabber christian slater. cocktoucher.
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		01:41pm 10/12/2005
	my days have been seemingly longer than usual. usually a great thing. but today i feel like absolute shit. i think im getting the stomach flu or something. i dont believe it was Budweiser, because i only had like 7. fuck ebay. yesterday in the mail. i got--- -ENGORGED-"where monsters dwell"- which is some pretty right on thrashmetal/deathmetal with a strong g.i. joe and horror movie obsession...record effing owns. MORE BRAINS! -FONDLECORPSE-"from the crypts"- drum machine death metal band from the netherlands. self proclaimed couch-potato grind. more horror movie obession. mainly Return Of The Living Dead and Critters. -WHORE-"doing it for the kids"- this is like probably the most insanly wrong record i own. i dont think anything shocks me in life. but these dudes continue to shock me. way worse than their first. but the music is so brutal. its amazing. Mike Diana did alot of the art, so its like covered in mutilated children and upsidedown crosses and cumshots. a song called "Peices Of Her In My Shit". yikes. tonight me and josh are supposed to go to the city and hang. i wonder if that will happen. a bar most likely. attempt to meet up with Andy Slania. who knows. something better go down though. because im going to be bored after work. a party is happening in Pilsen. i have options. finding a new bass player is stressful. you cross your fingers on the one person you want to do it, but every day you get worried it wont happen. its kind of a far fetched idea. but if it worked itd be rad. i get along with this person very well...who knows i am getting more and more excited daily about the future tour. i will most likely be gone from like June until October. look at this schedule... JUNE- 3 1/2 weeks east coast/south JULY- 2 1/2 weeks west coast AUGUST- 3 or 4 weeks all over Europe SEPTEMBER- 2 weeks canada upper east coast SEPT/OCT- 4 week full u.s. tour im going to come home a very tired person. without hearing. thats for sure. for now. fuck winter and the vile snow that comes with it
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		04:16am 06/12/2005
	listening to the band WHORE makes me want to kill women violently. its too much alcohol. i respect women to the highest power, by the way. and i love my girlfriend. i dont want people to get the wrong idea about me
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		02:55am 05/12/2005
	quiet sunday night comes to a close. the weekend was pretty eventful for the most part. unfortunatly i dont remember it too clearly thanks to beers. friday josh had a party of sorts at his place. it was pretty rad until like 2am when i automatically got pissed for no reason and wanted to kick someones face off. luckily kays took me home. jayHWC showed up which was surprising. i never thought anyone would want to venture to joshs crappy apartment. saturday turned out to be the longest day ive had in ages.we were scheduled to play WATCH THE WORLD EXPLODE FEST 2 in Madison, WI. we played last year and it was a ton of fun. this year was a bit different. not as many bands and TOR happened to be the only band that played fast and wasnt tough as nails. i should be lucky we lived to play the show. i forgot to watch the news, like an idiot, and in turn didnt know that wisconsin was supposed to get annhilated by a killer snow storm. after almost dying by crashing into a concrete divider while still in Illinois, once we hit WI, it started snowing like CRAZY. the roads got slick and i seriously saw like over 8 cars flipped on their roofs and teetering off the sides of the expressway. there was even an ambulance flipped over, which is crazy. needless to say, as much of a worrier as i am, i was scared shitless. i literally had to unstick my fingertips from the armrests in the van. considering the storm, we werent surprised to see that barely any other bands had shown up yet and there was only a handfull of people in attendance by that time. we played. it was decent if that. our morale was killed due to the dead state of the crowd. we left immediatly after we played, which i hate to do, but we needed to get home for a 21st birthday extravganza. getting home at 1am. and my night hadnt even started yet. we hit the bar at 115am and drank till close. went back to joshs drank till the sun came up. mike scored a fake ID and i actually got to sit in a bar with him. it made me realize how much im going to miss him after he leaves TOR and joins the marines. im choosing to avoid thinking about it. thats probably the best way to deal with it...sarcasm detected. today wasnt as eventful but turned out to be rad as hell. i finally bought new shoes which is good because not only are low top converse bad shoes to wear in winter, but when they have huge holes in the soles, it also doesnt help. scored some kick ass old school low top vans. this will be like my 30 pair in my life. i also went kind of nuts and bought a crapload of slasher films. i dont know what the hell i was thinking. but here is what i got.... -PEICES -HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME -NAIL GUN MASSACRE -SLAUGHTERHOUSE -FRIGHTMARE -SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT plus i recently ordered 3 DVDs via ebay, which is crazy because i never use ebay. the only other time i ever used it was to score a copy of "SON OF BLLLEEEAAUURRRGGGHHH" 7" comp. anyway, i got-- -THE MUTILATOR -ALONE IN THE DARK (the 80s slasher not that shitty tara reid movie) -TOURIST TRAP. and i just ordered this rad double feature DVD containing -MOTEL HELL -DERANGED needless to say, i shall be busy watching movies for quite some time. i havent been buying music lately. kaysie has gotten me addicted to SEX AND THE CITY and i love her for it. i havent been listening to anything but crappy christmas music and MORTICIANs new record new years resolutions are depressing. but im trying anyway. i planned to quit drinking soon, oddly enough my sister stole 2 40oz's for me from some party. im looking forward to that rich velvety tatse of KING COBRA and MAGNUM. yikes. im considering college again in one year. after the constant touring. see, i got this fucking fortune cookie. and i cracked it open. and the fortune said "youre only young once, but immaturity can last a lifetime". yea it pretty much threw my whole world into shambles. so im sure im now gearing up for the next emotional/mental breakdown. i wish kays didnt go home tonight. sleeping alone is for the cretins.
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01:09am 02/12/2005

music: HIRAX

well...i might as well make it official.
as of yesterday...mike is no longer a member of TOWER OF ROME.
well let me rephrase...he is a member until the end of Janurary. he is going to finish the rest of the December and Jan shows and will record our e.p. with us. then he leaves.....
where? THE FUCKING MARINES! i dont even know how i feel about it. its the craziest thing ive ever heard. and anyone ive talked to about it is like "IS HE OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND!?!". he feels like he needs to. so i guess i cant fuck with that. but im going to miss him. and i dont think there will be a day that goes by that i wont be worried for him....end thought: fuck wars.
so...im turn
we are like 80% sure of his replacment...but its still up in the air..so i cant speak of it now. i just know that if it works out...its going to be CRAZY! i cant even believe it.

i have a new screen name..anyone who wants to talk...
- aaronofrome

word.

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WE'RE THE METAL INQUISITION!!!!
		06:11pm 14/11/2005
	wow. well first thing is first. tonight is Tony from TOR's 21st birthday, as well as my main mufucka, alex FUCKING ross. and we are going out and getting wrecked. so if you want to come join us, meet us at TEXAS CORRAL in Highland, IN at 830/9pm tonight(monday) for 50cent drafts. if you want to come. please do. anyway. i had the best couple of nights of my life..the past couple of days. ive just celebrated 2 full years with my girl Kays. thats a long effing time. i got her that 20 disc dvd boxset of SEX AND THE CITY. its pretty rad actually. she hooked it up hard with some pretty dope shit too. here is what i got... -COMBAT RECORDS TOUR 1985 DVD- ok this thing is RARE, on dvd at least. its old live footage from the tour featuring the likes of SLAYER, EXODUS, and VENOM. its amazing. seriously. -PILEDRIVER-"metal inquisition/stay ugly" cd- this is great. from 1985, this canadian band was over the top metal that laid wastes to posers. there is in fact a line from the first song in which the vocalist (who wears a leather mask adorned in huge spikes) says "IF YOURE NOT A METALHEAD, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD". its pretty great. MARDUK covered some of their songs back in the day. -DEATH ANGEL 3xcd BOX SET- yea, classic thrash band. includes a DVD of old footage. kicks ass!!! makes me want to grow my hair long. -SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK- box set- classic creepy childrens book with rad artwork. ahh, my young years. not much else to report. life has been untoughably great. a great few days with my girl and tonight, im out ruining the old liver with my friends. lastly. its looking like TOR is doing 3 1/2 weeks for tour in JUNE. and then EUROPE in August for a few weeks. then, if all works as it should...we are quitting our jobs and trying to tour full time. which will take us to canada, and then a full US stint. hopefully HWC wasnt joking about that TOR/HWC japanese tour. grind powerhouse. losing my job is definitly worth it...especially at this point. im only young once... cheers.
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		02:49pm 06/11/2005
	well where the fuck have i been? nothing is new with me by any means. lately ive given up on all music with the exception of MORTICIAN, HIRAX, DEATH ANGEL, and the new record by AMERICAN ANALOG SET. as it turns out im starting 2 new bands that im pretty fucking excited about. 1. DEMISER. a thrash metal/cross over extravaganza. high pitched vocals. fast music. fuck yea. 2. HURRICANE DITKA. a grindcore powerhouse with a 1985 bears superfan attitude. love it. also josh wants to do a band now called BUILDINGS. its like ORCHID, JEROMES DREAM type shit. im into the idea. so the movie STREET TRASH is officially amazing. they just re-released it uncut on dvd. and you cant beat it by any means. it proves that the 80s were the best time to be alive and well. TOR will be recording our new cdep next month with Jeremy Lemos. originally we were gonna record with the same dude who recorded SKINLESS, MACABRE, and USURPER...but i dont think that will happen now. 7 songs. 1.i have to tell you something...i eat lightbulbs 2.15 years olds dude, 15 year olds 3.save art: kill an art kid 4.do you know what divine intervention means? 5.oh my god hes got an arm off 6.does your friend have a name or should i just call him lawyer 7.--i dont remeber what josh named this song..haha yea. the new material is pretty fucking rad and harsh. after the recording we are thinking about 3 weeks for the east coast/south. and then 2 weeks in europe. yikes. this is the worst time to be scared of flying in airplanes.... i went to the doctor the other day from fear of this lump in my neck. after an exam it turns out i have a cyst growing in my neck. that sucks. but cancer still wont get me. its fucked up growing up knowing that my dad died when i was 8 from cancer. it sucks to know that shit runs in my family. it scares me away from wanting to start a family because i know what i had to go through when my dad died. i had to raise myself pretty much. which kind of ruled i guess. this halloween sucked. i was going to dress up as a used tampon...which wouldve been amazing...but i had to work late and the idea just seemed pointless after awhile. black velvet whiskey....holy shit
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		01:24am 13/10/2005
	i feel bad...because i forgot to mention that one of the few rad as fuck things in my life in my amazing g/f... kays...you own my existence...
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		10:42pm 12/10/2005
	so.... today could go fuck itself. there was a point when i wanted to blow my own head off... but since practice tonight i feel better. if you want to see proof that i have one of the weirdest and coolest record collections ever...click here http://www.recordnerd.com/lists/liveslowdieold now....fuck off.
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		08:56pm 10/10/2005
	ok so i saw that Wallace & Gromitt buisness this weekend. it pretty much made me feel alot better about the general state of the world and what not. i dont watch the news anymore. i just remember british claymation. i fucking scored like no other in the movie dept. as well. THE NEW YORK RIPPER dvd THE DRILLER KILLER dvd I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE dvd all are uncut and are fucking rad. i especially like TNYR. besides the cheese factor and general "what the fuck-ness" that comes with movies by Lucio Fulci...it was a pretty solid slasher flick. seeing a razorblade cut an eye in half is something to be reckoned with...honestly. ive been in an odd mood lately too. music is stupid too.
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